It’s about one o’clock in the morning when two of my friends and I decide that it would be a great idea to finally leave a mutal friend’s apartment only to run by Burger King because I had a cheeseburger craving. After much bickering and hip bone popping (I absolutely hate popping joints for other people. I freaks me out.) we are finally out the door and soon we arrive at the only BK in Starkville. Sometime during that visit my friends decided to try and fuck up my thinking parts. This is a risk you take when hanging out with them at the same time. They like to mess with people and I have to admit that in my sleep deprived state I was highly susceptible to this kind of torture.
So what does this have to do with sexuality and gender? Well, after they had thoroughly fried my neurons, one friend said “Sometimes I get hungry in class, but, I don’t have any food. So, I shoot up heroin instead.” My head is propped up on my cup and my other friend just starts laughing.
I’m left thinking “….But heroin and food aren’t substitutes….”
So the first friend refills her root beer and puts the analogy in terms I can understand. “Sometimes I feel the need to knit, but, I don’t have my knitting supplies with me. So, I tie my shoelaces instead.”
To which I reply “But it doesn’t work that way!”
The previously laughing friend says “That’s the point. It’s a very direct analogy. Knitting is girls and shoelaces are boys.”
“Oh…in that case it works for me!” I said as my two lesbian companions shook their heads.
The moral of the story is that you should never ever hang out with facetious people who like to mess with other people’s brains at one in the morning.
The story is pertinent because it shows the difference in the way people see gender based upon their place on the sexuality spectrum. As I stated earlier my companions were (and still are) lesbians. I am a pansexual, which the American Collegiate Dictionary defines as “relating to, having, or open to sexual activity of many kinds”. This definition is rather impersonal and not very useful at all, however wikipedia has an excellent article on pansexuality if you feel like investigating further, also you could ask yet another friend of mine who would tell you that I am only sexually interested in pans. And yes, he does mean a frying pan…the one setting on your stove. Anyways, back on topic! So, I am a pansexual and a lesbian. This is the part where most people’s mind explodes, so if you need sometime to scrape brains off the floor, please do so now.
Most people say that I can’t be both pansexual and lesbian. I disagree…obviously. I am sexually a pansexual and culturally a lesbian. Why? Because there is not a middle-team or bi or pan culture. There is gay culture and there is it’s absense and that is all. Not even the straight people have a culture to call their own, it is simply a lack of gay that makes it straight. What’s the difference in a gay bar and a straight bar? Nothing, except the gay bar has rainbows.
Although I am pansexual and ultimately gender and sex don’t matter to me I find that I am more willing to have relationships with women. I am not sure if this is more due to preference or socialization but I know that is puts a toll on the guys I like. Those guys are mostly really adorkable nerdy or geeky guys. Most are heterosexual and they all have varying degrees of familiarity with gay and lesbian culture. This culture barrier makes it hard to explain to them my sexuality and to some degree my gender simply because both are fluid. My sexuality is significantly more fluid than my gender, however, gender is still somewhat fluid. Molasses comes to mind when thinking about the fluidity of my gender. My sexuality is more like water in terms of viscosity. I would absolutely love to finish this topic now, however I have class in 24 minutes and I am not dressed yet and the post is already 716 words.
Peace out!
Posted in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Issues
Tags: bisexual, burger king, cheeseburger, gay, lesbian, middle team, pansexual
From the mind of Tilley 